I am very excited to announce I have been accepted to the graduate program at the Savannah College of Art and Design for their M.F.A in photography. I am terrified.
Okay, that’s a hyperbole, but I’m sure you can understand. I am very lucky in a few instances. My parents are emotionally supportive, very proud; this feels me with hope. I have been given the highest artistic scholarship one can receive. With no debt, I can accumulate much of what I need in funds through need-based grants and able to take on loans. Hopefully through these lucky bits I can get through the next two years.
My fears are basic. I’m not good. I have no talent. It’s all in my head; an illusion. I am fake. Vapid. Void. Intolerable. Lied to. Disgraced. The list continues. These are the same fears any artist would have and I am sure most people have felt when given great opportunities to succeed.
I wish I could make some witty observation about how these fears are unfounded, meaningless, non-issues and will not affect me. They will not affect me; their effect will be unnoticeable. I can recognize the fear and push it aside to where it belongs; the trash. I also recognize I am using the semi-colon more often; I’m sure incorrectly.
When given a great opportunity we can succeed and fail. To our horror we find these are not exclusive. I hope to always succeed; I will be fine if I fail as long as I do it gracefully.